Barrie's letter to Sylvia

[TheWendybird]

What was with Barrie's letter to Sylvia when he was pretending he was writing to her before her wedding day saying "Tomorrow you are to be married" or something along these lines and saying how he wouldn't be there and she knew why or something like this? Was James in love with Sylvia? I always kinda had this impression?

[tcarroll]

I too have wondered about Mr. Barrie's feelings for Sylvia.  I thought it was so odd that he would incorporate Sylvia into the book Tommy and Grizel, according to Mr. Birkin's book.   Everything I read indicates that he had very strong feelings for her. It's so sad that she passed away so young.  I absolutely love Mr. Birkin's book, but it's just about the saddest thing I've ever read.
                                                        tcarroll

[TheWendybird]

I've always kinda felt like she was perhaps..his Wendy...you know? Like in the novel it says how it's strange to think that Peter didn't show up on Wendy's wedding day to forbid the banns.....and after I read that letter he wrote Sylvia my jaw dropped and I thought "wait a minute....i wonder" ..

[Lesley]

Do you really think Peter/JMB is IN love with Wendy/Sylvia? Doesn't he "just" love her. Like Tommy loves Grizel. "I think I love you in my own way, but I thought I loved you their way, and it is the only way that counts in this world of theirs. It does not seem to be my world" said from Tommy to Grizel (I got this quotation out of JMB&TLB, p 40 in the Yale Edition) and I think this stands for JMB as well as for Peter Pan. Peter Pan (original the non - bird/ non-human, JMB told the Davies- boys the story) belonging not really to here. and I think JMB is not able to love her, because he is such a child in his mind. Well not really a child, but he has a childs view of things, don't you think? I think he may love her like a sister, love her like a best friend.
I hope I didn't understand something wrong, and please excuse me for my english, I'm from Switzerland... 

[tcarroll]

With all due respect Lesley, I disagree.  I think Mr. Barrie loved Sylvia in a way he had never loved anyone else.  I feel (for what it's worth), that most men would not take care of a woman and her children without some sort of special feeling for her.  True he loved them even when Arthur was alive, but still, it's very unusual for a man to take on that kind of responsibility unless love made him feel obligated,  as if  he felt he was doing something for her.  Mr. Barrie was a very special, loving person, I know.  However, the toll it takes raising children is very real indeed, and I personally feel he must have loved Sylvia in a very special way.  The life he gave those boys was wonderful, but he paid a high price for it.  Heartache is never your friend.
                                                     tcarroll

[Lesley]

You may be right. We cannot tell for sure. I agree with you, that those feelings he had for Sylvia, weren't feelings he had for anyone else. I'm not quite convinced, though, that he did all those things for them, just because he was in love with Sylvia and feeling obligated to. He loved the boys as "his sons" and friends. And JMB is not "most men" don't you think?
And I agree with you on the point of heartache. Always painful...

[tcarroll]

Oh yes, I too believe he loved the boys as his own.  I never meant to indicate that he did what he did for them just because of his feelings for Sylvia.  When George and Michael died, I think he was as hurt as any father could have been.  But, still..I think there must have been some very special feelings for Sylvia.  He even wrote to her after her death for a while.  That takes a great depth of feeling as far as I am concerned.  But, I really think he loved "his boys" as much as any father could.  I believe he was one in a million, and those boys were very, very blessed to have him after their parents passed away.  Most children are not so blessed.
                                                                   tcarroll

[TheWendybird]

Well Barrie did write a letter to Sylvia pretending he was writing it before she got married saying "tomorrow you are to be married" or something like this and saying she knew why he wouldn't be there....And that he thought Sylvia "the most beautiful creature" he'd ever seen. I tend to think that he was in love with her but thats my opinion others are free to disagree lol I personally do tend to think children can be in love but...again that's my opinion. I don't think this means sex is involved for the record...I just want to make this clear..the two get too....er...no pun intended here but...intertwined. I think Barrie could be capable of being in love.

[Larry R]

                                                              For what it's worth, I believe Barrie did have a strong physical attraction to the opposite sex. His letter where he speaks of Sylvia's adorable mouth, and another in which he described an actress in similar terms, do not sound like the language of a man who is asexual. I'm not sure of the psychiatric term, but there is a condition in which a young man may be very attracted to the opposite sex, but he will not attempt an intimate relationship with a woman, because in his mind it would mark the end of his childhood, which he is deeply attached to. As an armchair psychiatrist, that's how I tend to see Barrie.

[Sylvia8]

Platonic love is the most beautiful love. It's the love for your friend.

I'm asexual and I can feel esthetic attraction: I find men handsome. There are four types of attraction: sexual, romantic or platonic if you're aromantic,... (there are many kinds of love), esthetic and sensual.

[Dani1923]

Sylvia,

100% agree! Platonic love can be as beautiful as romantic love, and should be emphasized more in media!

Sincerely,
Dani