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Arthur's notes in his own handwriting


Arthur's notes in his own handwriting:

[15 February 1907]

Last night (i.e. Feb. 15, a.m.) I woke about 4 and was awake for about an hour with nightmare and unpleasant fancies and a good deal of rather bad pain. Then I slept again till about 6.45 and woke again with a good deal of pain and was very unhappy till 7.45 when I had morphia. I think this was about the worst discomfort that I have had, and worse than anything that has happened to me by day.

1st discomfort and nightmare.
Thursday – mouth and teeth very dry. Very vague fancies that there was a trouble, that others (who were probably in the room) and perhaps I myself were concerned in this trouble. It seemed that I was going to have, or perhaps had had, an infant. All this was vaguely connected with the thirst and the pain in the face. I seemed to have no control over anything or over myself and was very unhappy. Nurse was very kind and gave me water to drink, and in the course of an hour I gradually became comfortable and went to sleep.

2nd discomfort.
At about 6.45 I woke, again in pain and discomfort, and very dry and thirsty, and with an illusion that I was a member of a club or association, which entitled me to a drink after lying awake in pain and discomfort for 3 hours. There were various technical rules of the club, but I thought my right to relief was exhausted for the night by my previous drinks until at least 7.45. Gradually I became more wakeful, and gradually woke up, or emerged from the fancies, soon after 7.30, when I woke up Nurse and obtained morphia.

Nurse and doctor now say I ought to have awakened Nurse earlier, and that in future I may have morphia any time not before 6. I propose also to try to talk less after my large dose and go to sleep quietly after it.

Feb. 16 a.m.

My dream last night (or this morning).
I was travelling all night in a train, and my chance of getting attention depended on being in a carriage at a halfway station with a proper notice over my seat. We all got out at the halfway stn., and there were many carriages and many notices. Anyhow it was very difficult to get a proper notice. We seemed to be all out on the platform for a long time. I was quite half conscious, and knew I could get morphia at any time if I asked. But I was not in much pain, and thought it better to wait if possible till 7.30. By the light I guessed it was past 6. I woke nurse who told me it was nearly 7, and offered morphia. She gave me 2½ oz. water and then prepared morphia and gave it me at about 7. Then I slept.

[Part of the conversation?]


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